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Okay, so I’ve been seeing people saying the caloric analysis of that little slice of heaven known as the KFC Double Down simply CANNOT be accurate.  KFC claims the grilled version has only 460 calories and 23 grams of fat.  CityRag started the whole hullabaloo with their brilliantly titled article, Kentucky Fried Bullshit and it just kinda memed itself all the hell over from there.  Joe Peacock at AOL News got the skinny from the actual nutritional analysis place and posted a great article about it.

Quote:
KFC’s official caloric breakdown was performed by Silliker Inc., an internationally accredited nutrition lab, which published the following breakdown on the Double Down:

Sliced bacon (7.4 g) = 39.88 calories
2 Original Recipe fillets (192 g) = 335.62 calories

Colonel’s Special Sauce (0.5 oz.) = 73.67 calories

1 slice pepper Jack cheese (14 g) = 48.54 calories

1 slice Monterey Jack cheese (13 g) = 45.83 calories

Total: 543.54 calories

Rounded Label Data: 241 g = 540 calories

The CityRag.com breakdown:

2 Original Recipe fried chicken breasts = 720 calories, 42 grams of fat

2 1 oz. slices of cheese = 200 calories, 18 grams fat

2 servings of sauce = 200 calories, 20 grams fat

2 strips of bacon = 70 calories, 6 grams of fat

Total: 1,190 calories and 86 grams of fat

So, is the Double Down really only 540 calories? According to both sides, the answer is no. But the lab-certified ingredient list puts it at 543.54 calories, which is only 3.54 calories off — compared to the CityRag estimate, which is 646.46 calories off.

BUT!  No one has actually weighed/measured one of these bitches and posted the photographic evidence.  That’s where I come in.  Guess what I had for dinner tonight?

So here is my setup with my tasty tasty grilled Double Down and my kitchen scale.  I had asked for it without sauce for, while I like to think of myself as a saucy girl, I really don’t like wet sandwiches and the last one I had was a bit slippery for my taste.  Of course, we are talking about the fast food industry here, so they put sauce on it anyway.  Good for the calculations, I guess.

I decided to weigh each individual element of the “sandwich” and record the weights.  I wrote them down in ounces, but I’ll convert them to grams for the sake of continuity with the measurements above.  I’ll use calorieking.com to calculate calories, since it’s my favorite site for that kind of stuff.

The first chicken patty came in at almost exactly 3 ounces (keeping in mind that “exact” and “kitchen scale” aren’t really two words that should be used together) which would be about 85 grams.  85 delicious grams of KFC’s salty grilled chicken goodness.  Damn, I was hungry while I was doing this.

I placed the fillet face down after I weighed it, for I had decided to reverse assemble my dinner for nomming when the weighing was done.

Next came the bacon.  The bacon was very very disappointing.  Half an ounce (14.2g).  REALLY?  That’s like two miniature size pieces of bacon.  So sad.

Cheese is next.  Now, as an uber cheese aficionado, I can tell you that your average slice of cheese is usually about one ounce and 100 calories.  The TWO slices of cheese on this thing were about an ounce (we’ll say 29g).  Lame.  I guess CityRag wasn’t taking into account the skimpiness of fast food when they did their calculation.

It’s supposed to be one slice of pepper jack and one slice of regular jack.  It pretty much just looks like a saucy blob.

The last chicken fillet weighed in at just over three ounces, which we will call 87g.  That went face down on the pile and my dinner was sucessfully reassembled.

Now I had all my weights and the photographic evidence, and it was time to do some calculations:

• Two chicken breasts at 172 grams calculated using KFC’s values from Calorie King = 266 calories/8g fat
• 14.2 pitiful grams of bacon calculated as pan-fried (probably actually microwaved) = 77 calories/6g fat
• 29 grams of jack cheese calculated as “average all brands” = 112 calories/9g fat
  
• Special sauce from calculation above = 74calories (fat not given)
  TOTAL  = 529 calories & 23 grams of fat PLUS however much fat in the sauce

So, in conclusion, my grilled Double Down sandwich was 70 calories more than the nutritional information issued by KFC stated.  Or at least that’s what I estimate.

Honestly, there’s gotta be some kind of weirdness in the cheese that knocks off those calories.  Look at the nutritional analysis – that looks like it’s some weird lower calorie jack cheese there. My bacon weighed in at almost twice as much as the nutritional analysis bacon did.  Bob only knows how many extra grams of fat that damn sauce adds.  See, that’s another reason I don’t like sauces!  Except barbecue sauce.  On hot links.

But good god damn those things are tasty! Don’t let the way it looks fool you.  Do you REALLY need that nasty empty calorie white bread roll full of HFCS anyway to enjoy a pleasurable sandwich? No, you don’t.  Get messy, bitches!

They are very very salty, though.  So if you’re like me, expect a nice case of water retention bloat for a day or two.  But it’s worth it.

And yes, I nommed the HELL out of that thing when I was done!  And then…

I like to cook.  Wait.  No. I LOVE to cook.

I really enjoy making up new dishes and experimenting with spices and textures as well as cooking my “signature” dishes.  I enjoy reading as many recipes for a dish that I can find and then coming up with my own way of doing it.  That’s how I cook.

So, when people ask me for a recipe for something I make, I get a bit stumped.  I mean, I do a LOT of  this stuff on autopilot, I don’t write shit down or measure amounts.  I’m pretty good at eyeballing general measurements for calorie counting purposes, but it’s still pretty instinctive.

That’s why I’ve decided that I will share my recipes – but YOU will have to make them like I do and use your own instincts to get the best results.  HA!    Let’s begin, shall we?

CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER BACON BALLS
(Yes, you read that right)

You will need:

• Peanut Butter
  (I suggest using Adams No-Stir – the texture is great and it is HFCS free with only peanuts, salt and oil in it.)
• Powdered Sugar
• Chocolate Bark (Coating chocolate)
• Bacon – extra crispy
  

Take 1-2 cups of peanut butter and dump it in a mixing bowl.  A cup of peanut butter should make about a dozen  balls, depending on how large you like them.

Start stirring in powdered sugar until your mixture is about the texture of cookie dough.

Crumble up your bacon really well and stir it in.  I use the microwave bacon and get it REALLY crisp so the fatty parts are crunchy.  You’ll probably want to use your hands at this point to make sure it’s all mixed in well.

How much bacon?  That’s up to you.  I like a LOT of bacon.  I think for the one cup of peanut butter I used 8 or 10 pieces. The dough will end up looking chunky/prickly if you do it like I do.

Okay – now your cookie dough texture will be a goopy greasy mess that you can’t mold.  Stick your bowl in the freezer for about 20 minutes. That will help the grease congeal and make it easier to form the mixture into balls.  If it’s still too greasy, stick it back in for a bit more.

Make your balls!  I guess use your own judgement as to how big you like your balls. (Did you see what I did there?) Put them on wax paper on a cookie tray and stick them in the fridge for like 20 minutes to chill them again before they get dipped.

While your balls are chilling, melt your chocolate bark.  Just follow the instructions on the package.  I use three chunks (Kroger brand) to cover 12 balls, but you can use more or less depending on your tastes.  Put it in a shallow wide-ish dish when it’s melted.

Roll your balls!  Roll them in the chocolate until they’re coated to your liking then scoop them out and put them back on the wax paper.  Use your fingers or a spoon, I don’t care. You can put any leftover chocolate on top of the balls if you want. Or just eat it. HA!

Chill your balls for around 20-30 minutes to harden the chocolate.

Nom the HELL out of them!

Okay, that’s my first recipe… maybe I’ll do some more eventually.